


there is no world in which i dont love you

by lesbianstwilight



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/F, Fluff, soulmate au kind of, this is lowkey bad but i was desperate for this pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 10:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16721592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianstwilight/pseuds/lesbianstwilight
Summary: Bella is searching for something, she hopes to find whatever it is someday.





	there is no world in which i dont love you

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't all that great, so, sorry in advance. no beta. all characters belong to smeyer.

Bella always knew she was a little different. Not in the ‘I’m special and unique and bound for greatness’ way, more in the, ‘I was forced to grow up too fast and sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for something but don’t even know where to look’ way. 

She dreams of pale faces and gold eyes. Of women who speak languages long lost. She dreams of snow and cold. She dreams of connections across time, across worlds, a line tugging and pulling her. When she wakes, she feels hollow and the aching to search and to know follows her wherever she goes. 

They’re just dreams, she reminds herself, but they feel like so much more. 

+

All in all, it didn’t hurt her as much as it should’ve leaving Renee and Phil. Her mother, for all of her flightiness, deserved every ounce of happiness she could get. If her leaving is what she needs, then her leaving is what she’ll get. 

It’s odd though, she get’s the strangest feeling leaving the copper state, that she’s never coming back. It settles like a weight in her stomach. Maybe she should’ve hugged her mother a little tighter. 

+

The dreams don’t stop in Forks. If anything, they just get worst. 

It doesn’t help that she meets the Cullens, whose eyes painfully match those that haunt her dreams. They’re not an exact match but they’re too close of an image to be a coincidence. 

She decides she needs to get closer to them, to ask them if they know. If they know of the ceaseless aching in her soul, if they know women with their same, golden eyes, ancient yet timeless. _Please_ , she almost begs as soon as she sees them, _tell me you know._

+

Of course, nothing in life is easy for Bella Swan. Not really. 

Edward couldn’t act like he hated her more if he tried. Though she didn’t care much one way or another what the boy thought of her, it made it significantly harder to ask about the golden eyes if he ran before she could even approach him. 

But she supposed, if she waited nearly 18 years, she could wait a little longer. 

+

After his rather long disappearing act, Bella found him enjoyable to talk to. It's like she’s known him for ages and it helped that the incessant tugging at her chest lessens just a little when she’s around him. He is searching for something too. She hopes he finds it. 

\+ 

It didn’t take all that long for Bella to figure out that Edward and his family were vampires. He’s freezing to the touch, he’s impossibly fast and she also caught him and Emmett jumping off a cliff, a jump that would kill any human. 

Somehow, Bella imagines, this isn’t the strangest thing that’s going to happen to her. 

+

She meets his family all at once. Their golden eyes and pale faces nearly overwhelmed her at first. It was as though the dreams were merging with reality and her sanity was on the edge. The tugging ramps up to an all-out war inside of her. _Just ask!_ Her mind screams at her. _Not yet,_ a different side hisses back. 

It all quiets though, when Edwards sister Alice, wraps her small arms around Bella and whispers, “It’s almost time, Bella. I’m so happy for you,” and then, as if an afterthought says, “We’re going to be great friends.” 

Bella believes her with all her heart. She decides immediately that wherever the tugging was taking her, that Alice will be a part of it. 

\+ 

Bella like’s Rosalie, Rosalie hates her truck. It seems like a good balance. 

Rosalie begs Bella to let her try to fix the truck, Bella argues that it’s already perfect. Jake wouldn’t have given her something that wasn’t already perfect. Or, she thinks wryly, as close to perfect as a sad case like her truck can get. 

Rosalie offers her a different sort of peace than Alice or Edward. She never has to explain herself with Rosalie, the constant need to find the thing to ease the ache. 

“I ached like that once too,” Rosalie says, “You’ll find what you need. Girls like us always do.” 

The words offered a blanket to Bella’s soul, the understanding in them. The tears burned the back of her eyes and she rested her head on Rosalie’s shoulder and she listens as the blonde explained why she enjoyed being a mechanic. 

She listened, she listened as the sky turned to gray and then deep blue, she listened to Rosalie for hours, and Bella felt the ache in her ease just a little more. 

\+ 

Bella’s 18th birthday came and passed without much of a fuss. 

In the middle of writing one of their English papers Edward blurts out, “You know, you’re not supposed to know about us. About vampires. You could get killed. I’m putting you in so much danger. We all are.” 

“I’m a firm believer that there is danger in everything we do as people. Living, even if technically dead is tricky business. You worry a lot Edward, you’ve got an eternity to live any life you want, enjoy it.” 

As if trying to convince Bella of his horridness he painfully says, “Do you know we’re soulless? We’re damned creatures.”

Bella’s laugh echoes around her room, “Aren’t we all.”

+

Alice enjoys being cryptic, she must, considering how often she is. 

“It’s almost time, Bella!” she says cheerily as she walks across the room towards Bella. 

Edward gives Bella a bittersweet look from across the room. Bella decides maybe it’s best not to inquire, not yet. 

Considering how long she’s been waiting to ask one simple question, she feels afraid of the answer now. All beginnings are terrifying and it feels like a large one is heading her way. 

+

The Cullens cousins the Denali's are coming to visit. Alice invites her over to meet them and it’s very hard to say no to Alice, even if Bella despises large gatherings of people or anything even close to resembling a party. 

In the end, though, Bella’s glad she didn’t say no. 

Pulling up to the Cullen’s house, in her loud, beat up truck she feels the tugging grow the most painful it’s ever been and she practically staggers to their front door. 

Esme opens it, ushering her inside scolding her for not wearing a coat as it was absolutely freezing or something along those lines. Bella was having a hard time paying attention and would feel bad about it later but now, all she could focus on was the tugging, or rather, the lack thereof. 

For the first time since she could remember, the constant ache and pulling were gone. Bella forces herself to look up, meeting the golden eyes that she’s been so desperate to find, if just for answers. 

Bella nearly faints at the sight of the woman, tall and strong and absolutely gorgeous. 

The woman (later, Bella would learn her name was Kate, short for Katrina), tilts her head to the side, “Well,” she finally says, her voice was smooth and soft, “It’s been a long while waiting for you.” 

+

Bella is turned shortly after her 19th birthday. 

It was hard, leaving Charlie. Harder than it was to leave Renee, even harder having him think she was dead. But her place was no longer in Forks, though she would miss it dearly. It was in Alaska, with Kate and the rest of the Denali’s. 

There is freedom, in finding the thing that’s been haunting a person their whole life. Even more freedom in finding a future full of possibilities with a person that they love. 

Bella has yet to find out why the aching and tugging happened between the two of them. Bella thinks rather sweetly, that she has an eternity to find out. 

+

“Are we soulmates?” Bella asks Kate. 

“You ask a lot of questions,” Kate responds before kissing her, smiling as Bella goes to take off her shirt. 

“Eager are we?” Kate teases. 

Bella stops for just a moment, holding Kate’s face tenderly between her hands, “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope yall enjoyed this self-indulgence fic, cause i sure liked writing it.


End file.
